does anyone else sort of get a lesbian vibe from ellen degeneres?
how did he have that ready to go
I JUST SAW THIS ON THE NEWS
is that tom hanks
This is very important if you’re ever in a situation similar this pretend that you’re dead don’t scream and @#!*%
my dad told us this if someone shoots up our school
PLEASE REMEMBER THIS
not even a joke we learned this in Police Explorers and put it on your clothing as well but go quickly because you don’t know where the person is.
i will never not reblog this
ok but literally how
if she’s even able to walk after sex you didnt do it right
yeah you’re supposed to cut her legs off
I saw this post in Facebook with the caption “apparently Mac supports windows” and I cried
No officer you don’t understand, it’s not a joint it’s a metaphor.
not sure why people don’t automatically say “shapeshifting” when asked what they want their superpower to be. you could become anyone you want. even fictional characters. anyone. cosplay would always be spot-on. dysphoria wouldn’t exist. perfection
rob a bank and disguise yourself as a stray pen lying on a shelf when the cops come
A pen with a shit ton of money lying next to it.